I have heard some people claim that relationships and cheating go hand in hand. This strange conclusion is based on their own experience and the experience of people known to them. They find infidelity so common that they begin to believe that we should consider cheating to be a concomitant evil that often accompanies a relationship. One person gave me the analogy of government and corruption. Governments are considered to be guardians of people but we find that often they are tainted by corruption. A relationship is expected to bring people together but it is often marred by the evil of cheating. So, should we accept cheating as a necessary evil that goes with a relationship?
I choose to disagree with this view which is based on helplessness, despair and cynicism. Just as society is fighting against the evil of corruption despite the evil's spreading its tentacles very wide, you should treat infidelity as a threat to relationship and should deal with it firmly. Philosophical acceptance of an act of cheating may show you as a magnanimous person but failure to deal with infidelity by tracing its root causes and eliminating them will lead to the embarrassment of your confronting a similar situation again.
I am addressing this not only to the victim but also to the one who commits infidelity. I don't want to call that person a cheat because I believe that the act of relationship cheating is a culmination of several developments and the person has only erred in his or her judgment or failed in self control.
The danger of accepting relationship as going hand in hand with cheating is that this attitude will inhibit you from taking action on relationship problems. When a relationship is plagued by more than a normal level of problems, you need to look at the situation to assess what is wrong with the relationship. In the name of reconciling to realities, if you allow things to go unchecked, you may find your partner engaged in another relationship. Or, you may be tempted to look at some extra marital relationships. In either case, you will accept the act of infidelity as a normal thing, something that goes hand in hand with relationships!
The weakness of many people is that either they refuse to see the problem because they believe that there can't be any or fail to accept the problem as serious when they see one. In either case, failure to take action is a recipe for disaster. To assume the attitude that in a relationship, you have to live with the prospect of infidelity is to anticipate and welcome untenable acts of relationship cheating.
Selasa, 31 Oktober 2017
Kamis, 12 Oktober 2017
Long Distance Relationships and Mandarin Chinese
If you have been in a long distance relationship for any length of time you will know, as I do, how hard it can be. It's even harder if the person you are having that relationship with is a Chinese person who's native language is obviously not the same as your own! One of the biggest problems I experienced in the three long-distance relationships I've had, was misunderstandings due to culture-difference, these of themselves caused many sleepless nights on both sides, not to mention pointless arguments and the odd-break up.
The most important thing I found during the time apart was to be able to smooth misunderstandings over, and not create too many waves by exercising some much needed emotional discipline, but emotional discipline is not all you need in order to make sure the Chinese woman/girl in question still maintains her interest in you; in fact, although you may feel you are saying the right things, Mandarin being what it is, and Chinese women's thinking and culture being vastly different from your own, you may not be hitting the right buttons at all! So let's take a look at a few winning techniques that can make sure her interest doesn't wane, or even worse, her attentions don't go elsewhere.
1. Here is one that is always nice to use: 'ju li chansheng mei' or 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'; the closer meaning is actually 'distance creates beauty between people', beauty in this case doesn't particularly mean physical beauty, but can mean a kind of emotional beauty in much the same way as we may say seeing something through 'rose tinted glasses'. Saying this sentence can therefore re-frame the long-distance experience into a romantic one for her, making its' ongoing nature a pleasure rather than a burden.
2. 'Wo zhen xiang ni, wode lao po'(wife). This sentence basically translated means 'I really miss you, my wife'. Now, firstly, you do not need to be actually married in order to be allowed to say this, she may not even have agreed to be your Chinese bride. This is simply a way of showing your girlfriend that your feelings are strong and committed to her. This is really important to Chinese women, and don't worry that this is the same as asking her to marry you, because it's not. I hear Chinese guys and women (women use the term 'lao gong'/husband) saying this to each other all the time, some of those relationships culminate in marriage and some do not. It's simply a cultural difference you can use to your advantage. With the next one we're going to use another great tactic.
3. With this one we're really going to 'amp-up' the emotional feelings: 'Duode nuhai xihuan wo, danshi wo yao ni, bu yao bie de'. This sentence means 'Lots of girls like me (change to 'nan ha' if it's a male), but I want you and no one else'. This is a great sentence for not only conveying a depth of feeling and commitment to her but also demonstrating your value.
Now, you may think you telling her other women are attracted to you is maybe a bit unnecessary, and in a normal relationship where you are together everyday and can see each other, I might agree with you; but you are in a long distance relationship and the main point is to keep her, so you will often need a little bit more than just good old-fashioned love, you may need the good old-fashioned green-eyed monster himself, jealousy. For sure, you will be on her mind for days after, and she'll make sure she puts in the work for you to, instead of going luke-warm.
The most important thing I found during the time apart was to be able to smooth misunderstandings over, and not create too many waves by exercising some much needed emotional discipline, but emotional discipline is not all you need in order to make sure the Chinese woman/girl in question still maintains her interest in you; in fact, although you may feel you are saying the right things, Mandarin being what it is, and Chinese women's thinking and culture being vastly different from your own, you may not be hitting the right buttons at all! So let's take a look at a few winning techniques that can make sure her interest doesn't wane, or even worse, her attentions don't go elsewhere.
1. Here is one that is always nice to use: 'ju li chansheng mei' or 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'; the closer meaning is actually 'distance creates beauty between people', beauty in this case doesn't particularly mean physical beauty, but can mean a kind of emotional beauty in much the same way as we may say seeing something through 'rose tinted glasses'. Saying this sentence can therefore re-frame the long-distance experience into a romantic one for her, making its' ongoing nature a pleasure rather than a burden.
2. 'Wo zhen xiang ni, wode lao po'(wife). This sentence basically translated means 'I really miss you, my wife'. Now, firstly, you do not need to be actually married in order to be allowed to say this, she may not even have agreed to be your Chinese bride. This is simply a way of showing your girlfriend that your feelings are strong and committed to her. This is really important to Chinese women, and don't worry that this is the same as asking her to marry you, because it's not. I hear Chinese guys and women (women use the term 'lao gong'/husband) saying this to each other all the time, some of those relationships culminate in marriage and some do not. It's simply a cultural difference you can use to your advantage. With the next one we're going to use another great tactic.
3. With this one we're really going to 'amp-up' the emotional feelings: 'Duode nuhai xihuan wo, danshi wo yao ni, bu yao bie de'. This sentence means 'Lots of girls like me (change to 'nan ha' if it's a male), but I want you and no one else'. This is a great sentence for not only conveying a depth of feeling and commitment to her but also demonstrating your value.
Now, you may think you telling her other women are attracted to you is maybe a bit unnecessary, and in a normal relationship where you are together everyday and can see each other, I might agree with you; but you are in a long distance relationship and the main point is to keep her, so you will often need a little bit more than just good old-fashioned love, you may need the good old-fashioned green-eyed monster himself, jealousy. For sure, you will be on her mind for days after, and she'll make sure she puts in the work for you to, instead of going luke-warm.
Rabu, 27 September 2017
Build Meaningful Customer Relationships and Strong Brands
Over the past 17 years I have worked with some of the best people, minds, and companies in the world. I have honed my sales skills and acquired insightful and effective marketing skills along the way. I started as an entry level sales and marketing associate and worked my way to various positions in senior management. Climbing this ladder has left me with the scars from numerous mistakes and fond memories of the many rewarding successes. I look at the failures as the badges and the victories as the awards.
I would like to share some lessons and strategies I have learned along the way. Successful companies, those that market and sell most efficiently and profitably, invest in developing meaningful relationships with their customers. This requires a commitment from senior management and all divisions, departments, and teams within the company. Meaningful customer relationships are the backbone on which all other strategies and tactics can be built. Any company, new or well established, that does not invest in a customer focused infrastructure will fail to develop meaningful relationships and more importantly, they will eventually experience depreciation in their brand's equity or, for new companies, they will not establish the trust that you need to launch a true brand. Neglect your relationship with the customer and you run the risk of becoming obsolete, your employees experience low company moral, and you watch earnings decrease, most often very rapidly. I have witnessed this first hand and it is a lesson you prefer to learn through education, not experience.
In 1998 I was hired to work on the management team that took over operations for the well known publishing company Golden Books. These are the famous children's story books with that unique golf spine. Mothers in the 60's and 70's made this brand one of the most recognized in the world by purchasing them at the checkout counter in grocery stores. They later became available in every book store, mass merchandiser and club store. Up until the late 90's Golden Books was a brand recognized and thought of as much as Hallmark.
So why did Golden Books need help from this new management team? The relationship between the company and their most important customer, mom, had deteriorated to a very critical point for the brand. The meaningful relationship the brand had with mothers across the country was neglected for far to long and was in resuscitation. The brand equity, while still in the minds of many mothers, was at a tipping point. There was fear that it was becoming irrelevant and approaching the point where it might become obsolete. In the end we were able to salvage the brand and reposition the company in the eyes of moms but we were never able to reignite the passion and relevance the brand once had with its core customer. The major lesson learned was that it is much easier to build a brand and maintain the customer relationship than it is to resurrect a dead or failing relationship.
If you are a business owner you need to ask yourself this question, "Do the products or services that I am selling have a meaningful relationship with my core and perspective customers? Do my core and perspective customers trust me?" Enduring products and brands are driven by consistent and meaningful engagement with their customers. A customer relationship is no different than friendship, marriage, or a partnership. If you are not consistent in your efforts to maintain your meaningful relationship, it's just a matter of time before the relationship suffers.
Simply put, companies need to invest in relationship building with their core and perspective clients. The advent of social media brings new opportunity to develop and influence these meaningful relationships and should be included in the overall plan for the business. Right now you are experiencing some half hearted efforts in the social media arena, but keep an eye on the big brands; I guarantee most of them are already starting to recognize the power of social media marketing. Short term commitments will eventually fail. Those that invest the time, effort and resources will succeed. We are in the learning stages now and the bean counters want a measurable ROI that is just not available yet, at least not in the form of charts and graphs. Score carding social media investments can be tricky. Senior management needs to recognize that relationships are not developed overnight and trust, the most important part of a meaningful relationship, takes time to build. There are many levels of trust too. I can trust that you won't light a fire in the movie theater but isn't that a different trust than leaving my children with you? Social media will require commitment and patience. You can measure the results by watching shifts in the way the customer is engaging with your brand(s). It won't just be measured by numbers on a spreadsheet.
So don't waste anymore time. Make a commitment to establish, maintain and or enhance your relationship with your customers and clients, it's the only way to build an enduring brand and remember, it's all about the brand!
I would like to share some lessons and strategies I have learned along the way. Successful companies, those that market and sell most efficiently and profitably, invest in developing meaningful relationships with their customers. This requires a commitment from senior management and all divisions, departments, and teams within the company. Meaningful customer relationships are the backbone on which all other strategies and tactics can be built. Any company, new or well established, that does not invest in a customer focused infrastructure will fail to develop meaningful relationships and more importantly, they will eventually experience depreciation in their brand's equity or, for new companies, they will not establish the trust that you need to launch a true brand. Neglect your relationship with the customer and you run the risk of becoming obsolete, your employees experience low company moral, and you watch earnings decrease, most often very rapidly. I have witnessed this first hand and it is a lesson you prefer to learn through education, not experience.
In 1998 I was hired to work on the management team that took over operations for the well known publishing company Golden Books. These are the famous children's story books with that unique golf spine. Mothers in the 60's and 70's made this brand one of the most recognized in the world by purchasing them at the checkout counter in grocery stores. They later became available in every book store, mass merchandiser and club store. Up until the late 90's Golden Books was a brand recognized and thought of as much as Hallmark.
So why did Golden Books need help from this new management team? The relationship between the company and their most important customer, mom, had deteriorated to a very critical point for the brand. The meaningful relationship the brand had with mothers across the country was neglected for far to long and was in resuscitation. The brand equity, while still in the minds of many mothers, was at a tipping point. There was fear that it was becoming irrelevant and approaching the point where it might become obsolete. In the end we were able to salvage the brand and reposition the company in the eyes of moms but we were never able to reignite the passion and relevance the brand once had with its core customer. The major lesson learned was that it is much easier to build a brand and maintain the customer relationship than it is to resurrect a dead or failing relationship.
If you are a business owner you need to ask yourself this question, "Do the products or services that I am selling have a meaningful relationship with my core and perspective customers? Do my core and perspective customers trust me?" Enduring products and brands are driven by consistent and meaningful engagement with their customers. A customer relationship is no different than friendship, marriage, or a partnership. If you are not consistent in your efforts to maintain your meaningful relationship, it's just a matter of time before the relationship suffers.
Simply put, companies need to invest in relationship building with their core and perspective clients. The advent of social media brings new opportunity to develop and influence these meaningful relationships and should be included in the overall plan for the business. Right now you are experiencing some half hearted efforts in the social media arena, but keep an eye on the big brands; I guarantee most of them are already starting to recognize the power of social media marketing. Short term commitments will eventually fail. Those that invest the time, effort and resources will succeed. We are in the learning stages now and the bean counters want a measurable ROI that is just not available yet, at least not in the form of charts and graphs. Score carding social media investments can be tricky. Senior management needs to recognize that relationships are not developed overnight and trust, the most important part of a meaningful relationship, takes time to build. There are many levels of trust too. I can trust that you won't light a fire in the movie theater but isn't that a different trust than leaving my children with you? Social media will require commitment and patience. You can measure the results by watching shifts in the way the customer is engaging with your brand(s). It won't just be measured by numbers on a spreadsheet.
So don't waste anymore time. Make a commitment to establish, maintain and or enhance your relationship with your customers and clients, it's the only way to build an enduring brand and remember, it's all about the brand!
Sabtu, 16 September 2017
Save Your Relationship - A Phenomenal Way To Save Your Relationship And Win Your Love Back
Tips on saving a relationship are plenty, others have the potential to mess up the relationship even more, while others have the potential to make you happy again and help you win the love of your love back.
If you want to save your relationship, you need to be sure about what you want. Take some time to figure out what this relationship means to you, by asking yourself these crucial questions:
What exactly do you want from the relationship - what makes this relationship so important to you is really one of the first questions to ask yourself. Do you miss having a person around who was giving you love? Perhaps it is the realization that you will be alone and lonely, that is why you are opting for saving your relationship? Whatever it is, you need to pinpoint the reason why you want to save this relationship.
Figure out what went wrong - in the beginning of any relationship, everything seems perfect, you spend hours on the phone and you just cannot get enough of each other. Something must have changed to go from that 'perfect ' relationship to being broken up. It is important to know what went wrong in the relationship, because you will be in a better position to prevent the same thing from negatively affecting the relationship the second time around.
Every relationship requires that both partners be willing to compromise - you both have to be willing to not get your way all the time, and remember that no one person can be right all the time. You will need to be willing to find solutions together, that please both of you.
Are you spending enough quality time together - in the beginning of the relationship you cannot get enough of each other, but as time goes on couples often tend to start to take each other for granted. Both of you need to be able to devote enough time for each other, where you can connect, if you really want to save the relationship.
To be able to save your relationship will require time, effort and commitment from both parties. A proven plan of action and your commitment to each other is what will make the difference in saving your relationship.
If you want to save your relationship, you need to be sure about what you want. Take some time to figure out what this relationship means to you, by asking yourself these crucial questions:
What exactly do you want from the relationship - what makes this relationship so important to you is really one of the first questions to ask yourself. Do you miss having a person around who was giving you love? Perhaps it is the realization that you will be alone and lonely, that is why you are opting for saving your relationship? Whatever it is, you need to pinpoint the reason why you want to save this relationship.
Figure out what went wrong - in the beginning of any relationship, everything seems perfect, you spend hours on the phone and you just cannot get enough of each other. Something must have changed to go from that 'perfect ' relationship to being broken up. It is important to know what went wrong in the relationship, because you will be in a better position to prevent the same thing from negatively affecting the relationship the second time around.
Every relationship requires that both partners be willing to compromise - you both have to be willing to not get your way all the time, and remember that no one person can be right all the time. You will need to be willing to find solutions together, that please both of you.
Are you spending enough quality time together - in the beginning of the relationship you cannot get enough of each other, but as time goes on couples often tend to start to take each other for granted. Both of you need to be able to devote enough time for each other, where you can connect, if you really want to save the relationship.
To be able to save your relationship will require time, effort and commitment from both parties. A proven plan of action and your commitment to each other is what will make the difference in saving your relationship.
Sabtu, 26 Agustus 2017
Relationships and Dating - How Hard Should You Work on a Relationship That is Not Working?
How many times have you asked that question to yourself only to ask yourself the following question? Is this relationship worth all my effort? There must be some kind of enjoyment that come from a relationship before you can consider the worth or lack of. It is important to consider not only all that may be wrong but on the other hand anything that may be right. Time that two people spend together must have some rewarding value to it to give it some worth.
Work does not always make a relationship better but some people particularly women will continue working on theirs in the hopes that it will. It is something to consider that working on a relationship is not the same as doing what works to build one. Working on the commitment in most cases only pouts you in a position of compromising yourself and what you want just to hang on. A true commitment between a man and a woman is something that you can gain value from. You can have a the relationship of your dreams when you begin to spend time enjoying it instead of always working on it.
One question you must ask yourself is, "Is this the relationship that I really want"? Your answer will determine the level of commitment you are willing to give this area of your life. There are some sacrifices that will be made to create the romantic vision that you have with your partner. Women especially have these types of dreams but settle for much less just to be in the presence of their man. But why settle when you can have what you want without so much work?
Learn not to invest in short term rewards and instead expect long term results from your relationship. Choosing someone somewhere in the "ballpark" will leave you rationalizing and regretting the choices you made. Just because your boyfriend or girlfriend meets your basic requirements or there is an instant attraction does not mean they are the makings for a successful relationship. Take time to grow into the relationship and if and when the water gets rough, take another look at the changes that are happening. Realize, ladies,that your boyfriend who is now your husband probably did not change. You must look at the big picture instead of your immediate puzzled piece you thought you needed in the moment.
Relationships have so much to offer and I now invite you to learn more by visiting [http://www.SecretsofAGreatRelationship.com] for more tips to build the lasting and fulfilling relationship that you deserve.
Work does not always make a relationship better but some people particularly women will continue working on theirs in the hopes that it will. It is something to consider that working on a relationship is not the same as doing what works to build one. Working on the commitment in most cases only pouts you in a position of compromising yourself and what you want just to hang on. A true commitment between a man and a woman is something that you can gain value from. You can have a the relationship of your dreams when you begin to spend time enjoying it instead of always working on it.
One question you must ask yourself is, "Is this the relationship that I really want"? Your answer will determine the level of commitment you are willing to give this area of your life. There are some sacrifices that will be made to create the romantic vision that you have with your partner. Women especially have these types of dreams but settle for much less just to be in the presence of their man. But why settle when you can have what you want without so much work?
Learn not to invest in short term rewards and instead expect long term results from your relationship. Choosing someone somewhere in the "ballpark" will leave you rationalizing and regretting the choices you made. Just because your boyfriend or girlfriend meets your basic requirements or there is an instant attraction does not mean they are the makings for a successful relationship. Take time to grow into the relationship and if and when the water gets rough, take another look at the changes that are happening. Realize, ladies,that your boyfriend who is now your husband probably did not change. You must look at the big picture instead of your immediate puzzled piece you thought you needed in the moment.
Relationships have so much to offer and I now invite you to learn more by visiting [http://www.SecretsofAGreatRelationship.com] for more tips to build the lasting and fulfilling relationship that you deserve.
Selasa, 08 Agustus 2017
Dating and Relationship Advice - Men and Commitment - He Doesn't Want to Commit, or Does He?
To commit or not to commit, is that your question? You probably know the warning signs. Everything has been going well with the new man in your life, and then, suddenly, he becomes reluctant to see - or even speak with - you. Oh no! He doesn't want to commit... or does he?
It's very easy to jump to the conclusion that your new man has been scared away by the prospect of making a commitment. After all, by suddenly going "cold" on you like this, it certainly looks that way. But do you really know what's driving him? Do you really know why he has become distant? Perhaps the true reason has nothing to do with you at all.
In any case, if you still like him and want to save the relationship if you can, it's a good idea to respect his wishes to calm things down. If he doesn't want to see or speak to you for a while, let him be.
Ouch! Now I know that hurts but just hang in there and let my sew you back up.
Now is also a good time to reassess how you've been interacting with him.
Have you been a bit too "full-on" or a bit "too much"?
Have you, by words or actions, been pushing him for a commitment? It may well be that you have been too demanding, too early on in your relationship.
On the basis that you may have been just a little bit too pushy, I suggest you agree to back off and let things move more slowly. ( Just turn off the deafening sound of your biological clock in your head!) Of course, he may or may no longer be interested in continuing to see you, but this is probably your best chance of saving the relationship.
If you are convinced that you haven't acted in an overly demanding manner, the reason for him neglecting you may lie with him. That's right! It could he him.That is why it's important not to jump to conclusions. Sure, it may be because he's frightened of commitment... but it may also be due to reasons entirely unrelated to you and your relationship. Perhaps he is facing work or other personal difficulties that he is attempting to deal with. Alternatively, perhaps he just doesn't feel that you are the one for him, meaning that he no longer wants to see you.
In this case, you might try asking him to tell you why he no longer wishes to see you, or see you as much. If what he says indicates that it has nothing to do with your relationship - and that he wants to continue seeing you, albeit at a slower pace - it might be an opportunity for you to offer him support in whatever challenge he's facing. On the other hand, if he indicates that he's no longer interested in you, accept it and spare yourself the emotional trauma of trying to get him to change his mind. Trust me ladies, pushing, whining and drama just don't work! There is someone else out there for you - don't waste a second more on the guy who is not in it with you.
It's very easy to jump to the conclusion that your new man has been scared away by the prospect of making a commitment. After all, by suddenly going "cold" on you like this, it certainly looks that way. But do you really know what's driving him? Do you really know why he has become distant? Perhaps the true reason has nothing to do with you at all.
In any case, if you still like him and want to save the relationship if you can, it's a good idea to respect his wishes to calm things down. If he doesn't want to see or speak to you for a while, let him be.
Ouch! Now I know that hurts but just hang in there and let my sew you back up.
Now is also a good time to reassess how you've been interacting with him.
Have you been a bit too "full-on" or a bit "too much"?
Have you, by words or actions, been pushing him for a commitment? It may well be that you have been too demanding, too early on in your relationship.
On the basis that you may have been just a little bit too pushy, I suggest you agree to back off and let things move more slowly. ( Just turn off the deafening sound of your biological clock in your head!) Of course, he may or may no longer be interested in continuing to see you, but this is probably your best chance of saving the relationship.
If you are convinced that you haven't acted in an overly demanding manner, the reason for him neglecting you may lie with him. That's right! It could he him.That is why it's important not to jump to conclusions. Sure, it may be because he's frightened of commitment... but it may also be due to reasons entirely unrelated to you and your relationship. Perhaps he is facing work or other personal difficulties that he is attempting to deal with. Alternatively, perhaps he just doesn't feel that you are the one for him, meaning that he no longer wants to see you.
In this case, you might try asking him to tell you why he no longer wishes to see you, or see you as much. If what he says indicates that it has nothing to do with your relationship - and that he wants to continue seeing you, albeit at a slower pace - it might be an opportunity for you to offer him support in whatever challenge he's facing. On the other hand, if he indicates that he's no longer interested in you, accept it and spare yourself the emotional trauma of trying to get him to change his mind. Trust me ladies, pushing, whining and drama just don't work! There is someone else out there for you - don't waste a second more on the guy who is not in it with you.
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