Dating and Relationship Advice - Men and Commitment - He Doesn't Want to Commit, or Does He?

To commit or not to commit, is that your question? You probably know the warning signs. Everything has been going well with the new man in your life, and then, suddenly, he becomes reluctant to see - or even speak with - you. Oh no! He doesn't want to commit... or does he?

It's very easy to jump to the conclusion that your new man has been scared away by the prospect of making a commitment. After all, by suddenly going "cold" on you like this, it certainly looks that way. But do you really know what's driving him? Do you really know why he has become distant? Perhaps the true reason has nothing to do with you at all.

In any case, if you still like him and want to save the relationship if you can, it's a good idea to respect his wishes to calm things down. If he doesn't want to see or speak to you for a while, let him be.

Ouch! Now I know that hurts but just hang in there and let my sew you back up.

Now is also a good time to reassess how you've been interacting with him.

    Have you been a bit too "full-on" or a bit "too much"?
    Have you, by words or actions, been pushing him for a commitment? It may well be that you have been too demanding, too early on in your relationship.

On the basis that you may have been just a little bit too pushy, I suggest you agree to back off and let things move more slowly. ( Just turn off the deafening sound of your biological clock in your head!) Of course, he may or may no longer be interested in continuing to see you, but this is probably your best chance of saving the relationship.

If you are convinced that you haven't acted in an overly demanding manner, the reason for him neglecting you may lie with him. That's right! It could he him.That is why it's important not to jump to conclusions. Sure, it may be because he's frightened of commitment... but it may also be due to reasons entirely unrelated to you and your relationship. Perhaps he is facing work or other personal difficulties that he is attempting to deal with. Alternatively, perhaps he just doesn't feel that you are the one for him, meaning that he no longer wants to see you.

In this case, you might try asking him to tell you why he no longer wishes to see you, or see you as much. If what he says indicates that it has nothing to do with your relationship - and that he wants to continue seeing you, albeit at a slower pace - it might be an opportunity for you to offer him support in whatever challenge he's facing. On the other hand, if he indicates that he's no longer interested in you, accept it and spare yourself the emotional trauma of trying to get him to change his mind. Trust me ladies, pushing, whining and drama just don't work! There is someone else out there for you - don't waste a second more on the guy who is not in it with you.