Relationships And Cheating - How Can They Go Hand In Hand

I have heard some people claim that relationships and cheating go hand in hand. This strange conclusion is based on their own experience and the experience of people known to them. They find infidelity so common that they begin to believe that we should consider cheating to be a concomitant evil that often accompanies a relationship. One person gave me the analogy of government and corruption. Governments are considered to be guardians of people but we find that often they are tainted by corruption. A relationship is expected to bring people together but it is often marred by the evil of cheating. So, should we accept cheating as a necessary evil that goes with a relationship?

I choose to disagree with this view which is based on helplessness, despair and cynicism. Just as society is fighting against the evil of corruption despite the evil's spreading its tentacles very wide, you should treat infidelity as a threat to relationship and should deal with it firmly. Philosophical acceptance of an act of cheating may show you as a magnanimous person but failure to deal with infidelity by tracing its root causes and eliminating them will lead to the embarrassment of your confronting a similar situation again.

I am addressing this not only to the victim but also to the one who commits infidelity. I don't want to call that person a cheat because I believe that the act of relationship cheating is a culmination of several developments and the person has only erred in his or her judgment or failed in self control.

The danger of accepting relationship as going hand in hand with cheating is that this attitude will inhibit you from taking action on relationship problems. When a relationship is plagued by more than a normal level of problems, you need to look at the situation to assess what is wrong with the relationship. In the name of reconciling to realities, if you allow things to go unchecked, you may find your partner engaged in another relationship. Or, you may be tempted to look at some extra marital relationships. In either case, you will accept the act of infidelity as a normal thing, something that goes hand in hand with relationships!

The weakness of many people is that either they refuse to see the problem because they believe that there can't be any or fail to accept the problem as serious when they see one. In either case, failure to take action is a recipe for disaster. To assume the attitude that in a relationship, you have to live with the prospect of infidelity is to anticipate and welcome untenable acts of relationship cheating.